Okay, it's been a long week and I have been a little under the weather hence the lag in my postings this week...But I did buy three pairs of shoes this week online from the comfort of my chair (All for less than $15...and they are fabulous!) I'm feeling better thinking about them...
This week in review:
Golf...in a word...I stink (ok - that's two words). But I loved it -- I amused myself by making Billy Murray sounds as I hit the ball...Doodoodoodoo Dadadada...But, unlike him, I did not steal a custom golf cart in Sweden at 3 a.m. in the morning and get arrested for ingesting too many cold ones. I digress...I steadily improved as the morning wore on and I can honestly say, I think I could get into the game -- the carts are really fun to drive and I think it is really neat that they have a cooler attached to them too. They have to work on the colors of the carts though -- A variety of colors would be neat -- Like the bumper cars at Carowinds, all of the golfers could race to their carts so they get the cool color of their choice...Maybe they could add numbers to the side like NASCAR...That'd be sweet. I call the pink #8 car (my tribute to "Little E" - Dale Earnhardt, Jr. for those who have no clue what I'm talking about - he doesn't drive a pink car but he drives the #8 Bud car which is cool). Actually, a bright yellow #99 car (in honor of "Awesome Bill from Dawsonville" - isn't he still #99?) would be sweet too. Oh - did I tell you I am a closet NASCAR fan? Passion for designer shoes and NASCAR...an oxymoron? Maybe there is a correlation between marching band and fashion, right?
Back to golf....I am happy to report that only one of my balls landed in the water - that was the only ball I lost! (Mark had two in the water)...It helped that we were the only ones on the course too -- I would feel "Masters" pressure if others were playing behind me...I'll have to try that some day. Maybe it won't be quite as fun...Funny thing though....my husband who is the poster child for honesty, integrity and trust is a flippin' cheater...I don't think he realizes it though - he forgets how many shots he has taken (could it be his age? - he just turned 47 this month - or a devious ploy? - your call). Okay, I would count the number of strokes he had taken and inevitably, he'd say, "Well, I shot a 7 on that one..." Uh, wha? That was a 9 mister. But I didn't let on...Twice or maybe three times he did a "do-over" teeing off and didn't count it...He let me do that ONCE! Okay, so we weren't playing competitively but...I am competitive. I didn't injure my arm playing laser ping pong with my 10-year-old nephew Collin because I am passive....(And I lost multiple times - I think it was the paddle). Note to self: When I play my husband in golf (seriously) keep a tally sheet for every stroke he takes.
Now to corn...I have told you about "LM" - aka "Little Man" or Nolan....His other nicknames include "Messy Marvin" and "The Absent Minded Professor...." This story explains those nicknames. I cleaned out his back pack from last year - um, the day before school started (that has Mother of the Year written all over it)...I found awards, information that I should have been following up on over the summer and..........TWO dented cans of corn (along with 2 encyclopedias)...He was supposed to turn in the corn for a Spring food drive at school...or maybe it was a project. WHO KNOWS!?! The kid was lugging about 10 extra pounds of weight on his back in addition to the umpteen books he had stuffed into it! Well, I asked him why in the heck he STILL had the cans of corn in his backpack....He said, "Oh, I forgot to turn them in." Mark was astounded -- He pulled me aside and said, "What the hell is he doing lugging two cans of beat up corn in his back pack? Even the Fort Mill Care Center would not accept these cans as a donation - look at 'em!" ---I had no logical explanation or response (except for screams of laughter). I am just hoping that he didn't club another kid with his back pack. Boys are known to do that... The dents have the suspicious markings of the side of a small head....Well, as I was tucking him in that night, I called him my "Corn Toting Boy." I asked him again why he carried around the cans of corn and left them there....He said, "Well, someone has to support Iowa mom." Corn...Iowa...His dad lives there...I was in stitches.
Nolan's take on Iowa and "living" there this summer...."Mom, there are only three things in Iowa. CORN, Long stretches of highways and itsy, bitsy small towns...." The boy has a point.
The kids have adjusted to school life this week -- the question is, have we? Football, Scouts, private French Horn lessons, band practice, Wendy's (STILL!) during the week...I am glad it's the weekend - I need a break from the hub-bub! Well, gotta check on Nolan and his buddy John - they are trying to fry Egg Beaters in the cul-de-sac (I will do anything to keep them amused!) The girls would "freak" if they knew that Egg Beaters were made from REAL eggs...I am thinking our dinner is already made for tonight (at least Nolan thinks so!)
THOUGHT OF THE DAY: You can never have too many shoes or purses!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
Congrats WVU, is golf a 4 letter word?, elementary school sociopaths and shopping online
Okay, Congrats go out to the Mountaineers of WVU...it appears that in the Princeton Review of the Top 366 colleges, the 'Eers got named the top party school of the year. The factors considered were consumption of beer, liquor and drugs and the huge influence of sororities and fraternities....Another factor included...studying time (or lack thereof). What do you bet that the students entering or currently in WVU had "Back in Black" and "Party Like a Rock Star" featured at their high school pep rallies? I am betting the probability is high....Georgia was high on the party list too I must say (that's a shocker)..... SHOUT OUT TO Jeff A. -- You are living up to your alma mater's call to fame! Okay, the University of Missouri Rolla (Mark's Alma Mater) also made the list...but not that one - it was characterized as "a school of nerds: run by the nerd and for the nerds." It ranked high on the "Best Career/Job Placement Services" and "Class Discussions Rare" list....70% graduate with an engineering degree....Hmmm - I am thinking maybe they would have chosen Chris DeBurgh over ACDC, ya think?
The question of the day...Is golf a 4 letter word? Well according to the madras plaid-clad Caddyshack wannabe next to us hitting on the driving range it is....Note to self Mr. Fancy pants...madras does not work for you - you are totally trying to have the Ivy-league, frat boy vibe going on but YOU ARE 40+ -- your golden years are gone - you are not in Kansas, I mean college anymore! LIVE WITH IT!....I will give him credit though...Like the dad in "The Christmas Story" he wove a tapestry of expletives that was pretty brilliant actually - he used illiteration (sp?) and word combinations like nobody's business...mind you, this was on the driving range...Mark was oblivious...he was busy concentrating on his swing and Rolla's superior Career Placement office....
Well, I am going to play my VERY first round of golf tomorrow - only 9 holes...I am going to try to make par (for the whole course on 9 holes - I always dream big) ....I play a mean game of miniature golf but seeing there will be no windmills to hit the ball through (and considering I can't hold the club and hit the ball through my legs) I am not sure I am going to be "game on." After missing the ball a few times today and creating "divets" the size of small rock quarries, I am a little concerned for those playing behind us. I am thinking there will be a lot of play throughs....I did crack a few good ones with my driver and the tee (although I was informed by Mark I can't use a tee off of the box - darn)...I am thinking that I will be the female "Boo Weekley" - have you heard him give interviews? PRICELESS and he's ranked 24th in the world....He didn't know what the Ryder cup was and hadn't really watched it...WOW! Okay, I'm him in female form and 24th in the world (that's 24 millionth), right? I have already begun practicing a gutural (sp?) "FORE!" just in case it will be needed tomorrow.
Okay, tonight was "Meet the Teacher" night at the elementary school So I have requested that the "Little Man" (LM) not be assigned to a classroom with a sociopath he has been in class with two out of the last three years.....Guess who's in his class AGAIN this year? You guessed it...The kid was expelled for five days in the 1st grade for bringing a knife to school (did I tell you he stole things out of the teacher's purse on two occassions as well?)...in FIRST GRADE!...Well, last year LM did not have him in class (Thank you Jesus!) He got expelled again - for what else but punching another kid in the face.....And, he is obsessed with my little guy....STALKER obsessed ...And, Nolan's desk where do you think it was?....you guessed it, right next to sociopath and another kid who has attempted to strangle one kid and beat up another....AND HE LOVES Nolan too...ARRRGH! Well, we are in a dilemma - like the teacher, love most of the other students but we have a disaster brewing, I can sense it...We are secretly plotting to pair the two misfits together or against one another to perhaps get them both expelled permanently....we are evil! Did I tell you that his teacher is adorable - great shoes, great clothes and seriously, she is a great teacher....She graduated from high school in 2001....ah, wha???? So she was born in .....1980 something?? Wow...Man, I would say that I had clothes as old as her but I had to stay on top of the trends ya know and got rid of the 80's things, and now the clothes I wore then are back "in"--- should've save them darnit!
OKAY -- NOTE TO SELF: Have Nolan watch Oprah's episode on "Toxic Relationships"....
Okay SHOPPING ONLINE - Usually, great but not a good experience today....We - actually Casey - loaded (literally) three shopping carts from Alloy, Delia and Target...Ummm, well, the carts were not saved or were dumped for some reason....When I went to place the order, NOTHING was there...this is a mother-of-a-strongwilled-anal retentive-self-structured/overly-planning-child's nightmare! She is going to have to reload the entire carts - EEE-GADS!.....World War III will ensue in about 30 minutes from now (after band camp). For someone who is a band "geek" (self proclaimed that is ) she is very into clothes....Do band geeks get into clothes? Please comment - Perhaps I am harboring an urban myth - band and high fashion don't mix. Did I tell you she wants to be a fashion designer and get a scholarship playing the French Horn? Okay, oxymorons of all oxymorons...But don't you just love shopping online?...I have weaned myself from Zappos.com (sort of) but there are so many other websites out there....okay, I must focus on my rebuttal for Casey when she returns home after almost 4 hot sweaty hours of band camp and her assumption that all is well in shopping paradise...We'll see...News at 11! Okay - I just got a hiss and a "HRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (like the gutural "Fore!" I need to shout tomorrow!)
Back to better news....Did I tell you about the Devon Car Debaucle of 2007? Well, it involves sheer brute strength - me and Mark pushing Devon's car down Dobys Bridge Road, on Tom Hall Street, etc...Major plumber action going on if you know what I am saying (I think I had a "Wife Beater" on and some torn Umbro shorts and Mark's flip flops...not my best look - At least I could have had some good shoes on, right?) Well, there was something majorly wrong with that picture besides the enormous fashion emergency that was displayed. Guess where Devon was? At Carowinds with the girlfriend...Ah, wha...Yes, you heard me. COMPLETELY bugged out on us....I was tempted to open a big can if you know what I am saying....
Well, prior to "The Great Push of Dobys Bridge Road" we got the brilliant idea of using the Suburban to push his car down the street - We heard a crunch and (GASP!) my UGA Alumni license plate cracked in half....Not a good idea we found. Long story short, no one in their Lexus (would that be "Lexi" for plural - multiple ones just swooshed on by), Escalade(s) or even Kia(s) stopped to help us out...Thank goodness a dilapidated van with two men with the same number of teeth (two) stopped to help us out. I got the sneaking suspicion that they had been in the same boat as us at some point in their lives. I didn't even have a cold beer in my purse to offer them...Darn, I meant to bring my insulated purse for the push too....I thought about offering them an Altoids but didn't want to offend them. Well today, I got a new license plate that is fantastic! -- Pewter, with a HUGE "G" in the middle, Georgia Bulldogs around the "G" and it has "The Arch" and "Sanford Stadium" on it! Bought it in the Hill, Rock Hill that is! GO FIGURE! At least the whole day was not a total loss!
IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL SALE TIME -- BUY THE SHOES!
The question of the day...Is golf a 4 letter word? Well according to the madras plaid-clad Caddyshack wannabe next to us hitting on the driving range it is....Note to self Mr. Fancy pants...madras does not work for you - you are totally trying to have the Ivy-league, frat boy vibe going on but YOU ARE 40+ -- your golden years are gone - you are not in Kansas, I mean college anymore! LIVE WITH IT!....I will give him credit though...Like the dad in "The Christmas Story" he wove a tapestry of expletives that was pretty brilliant actually - he used illiteration (sp?) and word combinations like nobody's business...mind you, this was on the driving range...Mark was oblivious...he was busy concentrating on his swing and Rolla's superior Career Placement office....
Well, I am going to play my VERY first round of golf tomorrow - only 9 holes...I am going to try to make par (for the whole course on 9 holes - I always dream big) ....I play a mean game of miniature golf but seeing there will be no windmills to hit the ball through (and considering I can't hold the club and hit the ball through my legs) I am not sure I am going to be "game on." After missing the ball a few times today and creating "divets" the size of small rock quarries, I am a little concerned for those playing behind us. I am thinking there will be a lot of play throughs....I did crack a few good ones with my driver and the tee (although I was informed by Mark I can't use a tee off of the box - darn)...I am thinking that I will be the female "Boo Weekley" - have you heard him give interviews? PRICELESS and he's ranked 24th in the world....He didn't know what the Ryder cup was and hadn't really watched it...WOW! Okay, I'm him in female form and 24th in the world (that's 24 millionth), right? I have already begun practicing a gutural (sp?) "FORE!" just in case it will be needed tomorrow.
Okay, tonight was "Meet the Teacher" night at the elementary school So I have requested that the "Little Man" (LM) not be assigned to a classroom with a sociopath he has been in class with two out of the last three years.....Guess who's in his class AGAIN this year? You guessed it...The kid was expelled for five days in the 1st grade for bringing a knife to school (did I tell you he stole things out of the teacher's purse on two occassions as well?)...in FIRST GRADE!...Well, last year LM did not have him in class (Thank you Jesus!) He got expelled again - for what else but punching another kid in the face.....And, he is obsessed with my little guy....STALKER obsessed ...And, Nolan's desk where do you think it was?....you guessed it, right next to sociopath and another kid who has attempted to strangle one kid and beat up another....AND HE LOVES Nolan too...ARRRGH! Well, we are in a dilemma - like the teacher, love most of the other students but we have a disaster brewing, I can sense it...We are secretly plotting to pair the two misfits together or against one another to perhaps get them both expelled permanently....we are evil! Did I tell you that his teacher is adorable - great shoes, great clothes and seriously, she is a great teacher....She graduated from high school in 2001....ah, wha???? So she was born in .....1980 something?? Wow...Man, I would say that I had clothes as old as her but I had to stay on top of the trends ya know and got rid of the 80's things, and now the clothes I wore then are back "in"--- should've save them darnit!
OKAY -- NOTE TO SELF: Have Nolan watch Oprah's episode on "Toxic Relationships"....
Okay SHOPPING ONLINE - Usually, great but not a good experience today....We - actually Casey - loaded (literally) three shopping carts from Alloy, Delia and Target...Ummm, well, the carts were not saved or were dumped for some reason....When I went to place the order, NOTHING was there...this is a mother-of-a-strongwilled-anal retentive-self-structured/overly-planning-child's nightmare! She is going to have to reload the entire carts - EEE-GADS!.....World War III will ensue in about 30 minutes from now (after band camp). For someone who is a band "geek" (self proclaimed that is ) she is very into clothes....Do band geeks get into clothes? Please comment - Perhaps I am harboring an urban myth - band and high fashion don't mix. Did I tell you she wants to be a fashion designer and get a scholarship playing the French Horn? Okay, oxymorons of all oxymorons...But don't you just love shopping online?...I have weaned myself from Zappos.com (sort of) but there are so many other websites out there....okay, I must focus on my rebuttal for Casey when she returns home after almost 4 hot sweaty hours of band camp and her assumption that all is well in shopping paradise...We'll see...News at 11! Okay - I just got a hiss and a "HRRRRRRRRRRRRRR (like the gutural "Fore!" I need to shout tomorrow!)
Back to better news....Did I tell you about the Devon Car Debaucle of 2007? Well, it involves sheer brute strength - me and Mark pushing Devon's car down Dobys Bridge Road, on Tom Hall Street, etc...Major plumber action going on if you know what I am saying (I think I had a "Wife Beater" on and some torn Umbro shorts and Mark's flip flops...not my best look - At least I could have had some good shoes on, right?) Well, there was something majorly wrong with that picture besides the enormous fashion emergency that was displayed. Guess where Devon was? At Carowinds with the girlfriend...Ah, wha...Yes, you heard me. COMPLETELY bugged out on us....I was tempted to open a big can if you know what I am saying....
Well, prior to "The Great Push of Dobys Bridge Road" we got the brilliant idea of using the Suburban to push his car down the street - We heard a crunch and (GASP!) my UGA Alumni license plate cracked in half....Not a good idea we found. Long story short, no one in their Lexus (would that be "Lexi" for plural - multiple ones just swooshed on by), Escalade(s) or even Kia(s) stopped to help us out...Thank goodness a dilapidated van with two men with the same number of teeth (two) stopped to help us out. I got the sneaking suspicion that they had been in the same boat as us at some point in their lives. I didn't even have a cold beer in my purse to offer them...Darn, I meant to bring my insulated purse for the push too....I thought about offering them an Altoids but didn't want to offend them. Well today, I got a new license plate that is fantastic! -- Pewter, with a HUGE "G" in the middle, Georgia Bulldogs around the "G" and it has "The Arch" and "Sanford Stadium" on it! Bought it in the Hill, Rock Hill that is! GO FIGURE! At least the whole day was not a total loss!
IT'S BACK TO SCHOOL SALE TIME -- BUY THE SHOES!
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