Okay, the key to blogging is to do it everyday, right? Well, I have not been so good doing so - my apologies to my fans...or is that fan? I will be diligently updating my blog on a regular basis from now on. Perez Hilton does it so why can't I, right?
Okay, "THE GIRLS" have decided to become extreme vegans...We are receiving information from PETA everyday. Okay, I am a vegetarian but I eat seafood and dairy now...and, it's for health reasons - I don't hug trees or handcuff myself to chickens' necks or cows' ankles or anything (uh, that sounds like cruelty to me...) I was recently chastised by "THE GIRLS" for purchasing a Lucky Jeans belt for $7.50 because it was made of animal hide (Can you believe I got a Lucky belt for $7.50? I almost fainted....I fretted over paying what I thought would be $15 but I was convinced by Mark to go ahead and bite the bullet --- what a bahgan! My heart is palpitating at the moment at the sheer excitement of scoring this deal! It's huge!) I digress...this vegan thing is EXTREMELY exhausting...and, they have modified their version of "Veganism" too -- They eat cake (uh, hello, there's milk in cake from a cow and how cruel is it to milk a cow, and eggs from chickens - egg delivery, very painful...okay, pardon my sarcasm)....It basically stinks to be the parent of teenage girls....Having vegan teenagers, the pain increases exponentially by the power of ten....
Case in point -- I was told the other day that I am basically half dead....I've reached the halfway point of my life. Nice -- I told them they both were going to promptly meet the end of their lives at age 14 if they didn't shut their mouths (Okay, in a weak moment I said "Shut up!" not "Shut your mouths.") Again, the Mother-of-the-Year award is probably in the back of a UPS or FedEx truck waiting to be delivered to me any day now....And, I actually threw out the, "Save the drama for your mama...." and then had to say, "Wait a minute. I am your mama....Alright, dish it out to someone else who cares." God bless my parents who raised THREE girls...(we weren't this difficult I am certain). When they appear on the Oprah, Mory Povitch or Jerry Springer shows, I am not responsible and have told them that repeatedly.....
Oh, and football -- the little man is playing again this year (on the Yellow Jackets --- WHERE ARE THE DAWGS?) I was let down a bit by his team assignment but at least he was not a Gator or a Gamecock....I still can't believe they don't have the Bulldawgs for a team....I am sure the name is way too intimidating for the rest of the teams in the league....And guess what footballs are made out of? Does the term "pigskin" conjure up a thought for you? Nolan needs a new football (I think this makes his oh...20th now)..."THE GIRLS" are wigging out with the fear of dead animal parts in our midst....
BREAKING NEWS! The new Saks shoe store is opening tomorrow in New York....more than 100,000 shoes on the floor (I am getting verklempt....I am planning for my ashes to be strewn across the merchandise floor....) They have their own flipping zip code - it's the size of a small town! HOW incredible is that? I am going to put that on my list of places to visit before I pass (considering I am half dead at the moment!) The shoes they featured on The Today Show today -- to die for, literally. Christian Lebouitton(sp? I just know the shoes!), Jimmy Choo, Chanel...My heart is racing now! I love shoes...Can you imagine 100,000 shoes in one place?...I will have to take smelling salts with me when I visit...Okay, that's completely "old school" -- Again, I am apparently aging rapidly...
Okay, "THE GIRLS" have an open house at their new high school late this afternoon....and then, a pep rally follows! Mark and I had an idea...He, along with Bill Thomas (the father of one of their friends), our daring neighbor Jay Wolf (father of John, Morgan and Tyler) and either our neighbor Jimmy or Mark will don the letters N-F-H-S on their chests for the pep rally (one letter on each chest of course). We definitely know that Mark, Bill and Jay are or would be totally in on the "gig." We have to ask the others....I am so into embarassing our children as much as possible (it builds character, right?) "THE GIRLS" are sweating bullets. Ali said her dad is "in." Probably can't pull it off tonight but definitely for the home opener on the 1st of September....Being a parent of two vigilant vegans also opens up many possibilities for parent paybacks....
I am thinking of starting a fund to reach my "Shoe Mecca" -- actually, I may qualify for a senior discount to visit there considering I am half dead now....
Life is short - buy the shoes!
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