CHECK IT OUT...SEC AND THE CITY

Check out SEC and the City...On the right side of the blog! ENJOY and GO DAWGS!

NEWSFLASH: Astonishing News Just Revealed

You are the first to hear it...I have found out I have a long lost son who is being raised just minutes from my house by two very loving parents (and he has a younger brother). "Nate" as he is called is a wonderfully talented child (what would you expect?) and excels at just about everything. He is a senior in high school (like Devon) and has just gotten his driver's license...and get this....He just got a job TODAY at....of all places....Off Broadway Shoes...It brings a tear to a mother's eyes...The family discount I will get makes a lump well in my throat...

Okay, so he's not my son...he could learn to be. Photographer extraordinaire and admitted-only-owns-five-pair-of-shoes-but-wants-to-be-a-shoe lover (ha!) Karen's son just got a job at the shoe mecca...I am torn between euphoria for her (FINALLY - HE GOT A JOB) and sheer agony (WHY, WENDY'S DEVON, WHY?) Think of the discounts just waiting to be taken but going by the wayside...This travesty mustn't happen...Karen, you MUST begin to love shoes or turn over custody of Nate to me for the brief moments my feet hit OBS (until I get the discount!) and then, he's your son again...okay, don't be looking for any child support now...

Does he realize what a sweet job he has? .... shoe discounts, shoes, purses (okay, that's a stretch) -- ah that is the life...At least he doesn't have to wear a uniform, smell like Bacon Cheeseburgers and Biggie fries and wear a visor like Steve Spurrier. We don't even get a free Frostie out of the deal. WHY DEVON WHY?

Good luck Nate! Your loving mom MARY (that's M-A-R-Y)

Shoe of the Week: Where Urban Meets the Jungle

Photo by: Karen "She's gonna learn to love shoes" Paulson

Can you believe it? Shoe of the Week is finally here!

Get the title? - The urban (the manhole and the modern design of the shoes) and the jungle (the vines and the animal print ON the shoes)...okay, maybe it's a stretch but I like the sound of it. The story behind these shoes: They are the favorite in my collection! Number one out of 113 pair! (Okay, that is beween 947 and 2,587 pair less than Imelda Marcos, thank you very much) These Antonio Melani shoes are made of real animal hair (sorry PETA) and were originally $139.99. I picked them up for a sweet bargain of $29.99 at Dillards. Why the price reduction on these shoes? Who has the guts to wear them? UH, that would be ME! Everywhere I go, I get compliments on these shoes (perhaps people do that because they are scared what I might do to them - uh, only someone with outrageous taste would wear these glorious boots). These shoes are insane(ly wonderful!) The only thing that would make them even more glorious would be if they were RED and black...Are you listening Antonio Melani? Go Dawgs! Life's short - Enjoy the shoes!

My life - sitcom or tragedy (you decide) and other stuff (like shoes...I am getting verklempt)

So I spend most of the morning yesterday dodging right and left verbal uppercuts from a triad of ungrateful ingrates (okay, can you tell I have not slept in a while?) But I like that phrase...triad of ungrateful ingrates...NOTE TO SELF: Copyright this phrase... Then, I spend 1 1/2 blistering hours gathering up Scout stuff and camping stuff and stuff stuff for an overnight Cub Scout campout that (darn ! It was supposed to be in the upper 30s last night) I can't attend because I have to be home with our teenagers (uh, this is a sincere DARN).

Luckily, (sincere DARN) I was able to go out and do some activities with the Cub Scouts, Mark and the other parents. Fishing, cooking and lots of laughs and learning with the boys. I got a chance to reminisce about actually catching a tree with my fishing line and literally reeling a boat...maybe not so much a boat, more of a canoe with a motor...into the shore...It really was nice...So, I got home with smoke filled, but nicely straightened hair if I do say so myself. SIDE BAR: Okay, I did it on my own without Mark's help...I mean without my hairdresser's help or was it my girlfriend's help or?...okay, most of you know it already...My husband USUALLY straightens my hair...I am weaning myself from that and branching out on my own and doing pretty darn good at it too - at least so I think, well maybe...I digress.

So then, I know I have a party to go to sans Mark in the neighborhood (Thank God it was in the neighborhood, because Devon's car is kaput, Mark had the Suburban, Devon had the van and I had two feet that were made for walking)...FORGOT, that I had no mode of transportation to get something to bring to the party...So while staring at mounds of Ramen noodle packages (that is SOOO college party hors d'oeuvres, but hey, we are all still young - why not channel our youth, right?)...I found a bag of tortilla chips, salsa in the fridge (I combined several jars in a tupperware container to make it appear to be homemade - sorry Kelly!) AND boiled a pound (just one pound - egads) of shrimp with Old Bay seasoning (I did have to call Mark at the camp site to get directions on how to make this) ... NOTE TO SELF: Mark is not allowed to attend any events when there is an important party going on...He's the chef de jour -- uh, that's every day by the way -- I would have had loads of stuff to bring had he been here to actually "cook and run" ...Although, perhaps that is okay. I would've literally needed a pack mule to haul our usual party foods....

Back to me...I proceeded to get ready and walk the oh 1/4 mile or so to the party donning my black leather biker jacket with zippers (Oh, it has such ZIP - I LOVE IT!) and Michael Kors (okay, I am welling up with tears) beautiful, animal hair clogs...2nd time they have been worn....okay, didn't actually wear the clogs while walking...in a true show of class and intelligence, I carried said clogs in my right hand, while donning a Harris Teeter bag filled with my contribution to the party AND...get this, a SUH-WHEAT turquoise suede and black leather, grommet studded kidney shaped/oblong purse...

When I arrived at the door...oh wait, I have to tell you about these clogs....$290 originally (as I recall)...HUGE sale at Belk in South Park and the shoes are marked down...WAY DOWN....so, again, these are Michael Kors shoes (I am hyperventilating a bit)....Got the register and the salesclerk charges me $10.90...you heard it...$10.90 for the MK shoes...OMG...well, I thought they were more but didn't say anything (but many Hail Marys to assuage the guilt knowing I should've been charged more)...well, we got the shoes home, they should have charged me $49.99 for the shoes...STILL, I would've paid that for the shoes...they are so sassy....I've overpaid for many items in that store so I have done my penence...right? Work with me...back to story....

Okay, with bare feet, I arrived at my destination and promptly dropped the shoes, slid my feet in and rang the doorbell...The crowd was so impressed that I walked all that way in my Michael Kors shoes, with food, my sassy purse and didn't break a sweat (RIGHT, CROWD?) Okay, I was sweaty, flustered and walked in and no one was there but heard the constant drone of Corn Hole going on so I knew that at least THIS time, I didn't get the party date wrong -- I was a bit confused by either the Memorial Day, Labor Day or Love Your Neighbor Day party that goes on each year...Planned to show up the following day (oops?) Well, everyone was out on the deck when I arrived (save the Cornhole junkies!)... It was awesome (of course, I showed everyone my shoes...)

Oh, rewind a bit to earlier in the evening....while I was deciding what shoes I would wear to the party (was actually looking for some FABULOUS animal print ankle boot numbers - I think they may be my favorite pair of shoes ever)...I get a call...I note the time, it is after 8 p.m. I am thinking Kelly, "Party Host Extraordinaire" is calling to see where the heck I am...No, it's Cynthia, Miss"Other Party Host Extraordinaire/Shoe Lover/TN VOLUNTEER - Bleeds Orange"....the first words out of her mouth...."Mary, just wanted to make sure you did not need to be on suicide watch." I am thinking, "She caught my vibe...I can't find my favorite, gasp, pair of shoes EVER..." I have loads of shoes under the bed and simply did not have enough time to go through them all...Thank GOD for Michael Kors...Then, I hung up, grabbed the stash and started trodding my way uphill (both ways) to the party....it suddenly dawned on me, "OOOOOOHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOO! Mr. Bill!" Okay, not really....any of you who do not "get" THIS reference need to grab those pull-ups, the blankie and GO TO BED...AGAIN, you are toooo young to get this whole shoedawgshoe thing! Back to reality -- I really said, "OOOOOOOHHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The Dawgs are losing...to Vandy....that would be Vanderbilt....that would be depressing...." The whole night, I thought the Dawgs had met their demise (along with LSU - versus Kentucky -- ...in 3 overtimes...) But I kept my red-and-black- bleeding, SUH-WHEAT- leather- biker- jacket-wearing, Michael Kors shoes donning-head held high...

Fast forward, so I trod home merrily (really!), supporting my Bulldawg Nation to the hilt and finally lay my head down and wake up to a phone call at 4:30 a.m.....Devon wanting to spend the night at a friend's house...after figuring out the ploy at that early a time in the morning - I called him back THREE times and he finally got his rear end home....

I head to the Cub Scout campsite this morning with the bad news....And, Nolan was sooooo down....couldn't understand HOW we could lose to Vandy...I was dragging my bulldawg tail too today...UNTIL....Mimi and Pop called and long story short, informed us that the DAWGS pulled it out...no time left....kicked a field goal....it was up.....it was GOOOOOOOOOOD! 20-17 win...It was "OUTSTANDING!" as Mark put it...well, the Bulldawg Nation is very happy tonight (especially the one that resides in Fort Mill, South Carolina)....and when I found out the news...was donning some sweet Indian beaded flip-flops - Does my ignorance make me a bad fan? .... Talk amongst yourselves!

Shoes, victory...both are a great thing!

Okay, so am I a Valley Girl or what? Boys fashion (or lack thereof) AND just a college football observation

Okay, so I was just reading some of my blog entries and realize I say "okay" a lot...Does that make me a person aspiring to be a Valley Girl or what? Do you remember Valley Girls? If you don't, you are way too young to be reading this blog, so go put on your pullups, grab the blankie and go to bed - it's past your bedtime...OMG I think I am one. I did have the Valley Girl handbook and perhaps some of the sayings are indelibly etched in my mind...that's such a groddy thought though, totally...

Okay (see there I go again...) so it was Fall Festival today at Nolan's school ... AND, I did my civic duty -- Okay, (again, ugh!) Mark and I did beyond the civic duty -- got accosted by a lady (that's a stretch) whose kid lost his ride punch card -- uh, is it my fault your kid, oh, how should I put this delicately for those pull-up wearing people who don't remember Valley Girls? --okay, so lady (again, I use that term loosely) maybe he has his head up a certain posterior area? I knew the kid in preschool -- to say he was clueless is a complete compliment...Mark found the card though and not a thank you was given to him whatsoever...I am hoping she is at home now trying to pull her son's head and her own out of said posterior region...

Then, (I didn't say Okay! woo hoo!) a loving grandmother proceeded to put her 2 year old (or younger) child on the inflatable "ride..." okay, mind you, this had a probably 8 foot climbing wall with an equally long slide...she was by herself...I must get grandma with irate mom and perhaps they both can assist one another in getting their heads out of their tushies...Back to story...Well the child, DUH????, got scared halfway up the wall (heck, I'd be bugging out at 18-inches above the bounciness) and proceeded to climb down. I held her hand and brought her to the end of the "ride" to meet her grandmother and her mom...I told them what happened and they gasped, "She was scared?" Okay add this mom to the head extraction process...Uh, yes she was -- DUH?! Well, grandma turned to me and said, "Well, do I get my punch back since she didn't go through the ride?" Okay, look lady...the flippin' sign said 6 punches for the ride...I punched the card once saving your butt some money...Luckily, Mark (not in a stellar mood today by the way) turned around to her and said, "Okay (he gets that from me) uh, you want a punch back?...let me see if I can find one of the fraction of an inch pieces of paper and we will super glue it on for you." To which the mom promptly answered, "Don't worry about it..." I am with Nancy S. ...Miss Blue Hair was trying to work the Florida chard angle and we just weren't going for it...Did I tell you we worked the ride for more than 1 1/2 hours?...we were supposed to be there 45 minutes - our replacements never showed up...I am thinking they observed the ribbings we got from 2 moms and grandma and said, "No thanks!" NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT volunteer to "man" a booth at Fall Festival unless you are prepared to bring out the super, duper head vices to surgically remove craniums from gluteal regions...By the way, Nancy and Larry...LOVED prolonging your ticket agony by only charging your kids one punch per ride - I think I may have let them go through free too (evil laugh)...I went through ticket agony with my kids and loved sharing the joy with you!

So Nolan goes to the Fall Festival too...we come home and I realized the kid (who also wears two different socks to school) has his shirt on backwards (you can see the "tag" through his shirt)...I said, "NOLAN...HONEY...you have your shirt on backwards and everyone is able to tell that." To which he promptly replies to me, "Mom, only you, Stacy and Clinton ("What Not to Wear") would notice that."...I had no rebuttal. I think he might be right...Do you think he watches too much TV or observes fashion, shoes, etc., too much ? (wish he would pick up some clues)...SIDE BAR: He know how to polish shoes -- uh, what? Casey had to polish her ugh-lee band shoes today...oh y'all ugly can't even describe them -- they make orthopedic shoes look hot...Nolan knew what to do from observing the shoe shine shops at the airports...He has always said he wanted to be a pilot but do you think he likes airports because he likes to watch shoes being shined?...talk amongst yourselves...

I am happy to report that I do believe (thankfully) UGA has a seating arrangement for its players on the sidelines during football season...Unlike a certain team which will remain unnamed because they were the TOP party school (UGA was second) this year...I have got to look out for those upstanding schools espousing comeraderie amongst its students...Well, at unmentioned school, Mr. Dingle and Mr. Berry were photographed next to one another on the bench...hmmmm...But UGA does have a building that is called the "Butts-Meher (pronounced MEER)" building...say it fast. Not pretty...So I guess I can't rest on my seating laurels...am very glad for our seating chart on the sidelines though.

EXCITING NEWS -- Drum Roll Please - Shoe of the Week is Coming Soon! And Xylophone (sp?) injuries...

I am so excited to announce that on Tuesday, October 16, 2007, Shoe of the Week WILL be launched (not lunch(ed) as was on the sign in "The Office" tonight - don't you love the show? Set in my birthplace, Scranton, PA...)...Back to shoes! I will be doing multiple photoshoots with my shoes this weekend so brace yourselves...we will be doing on location shoots all around the area (okay, Fort Mill...unless I get a wild hair and take some of my super shoes on the road-- okay, on location shoots out of Fort Mill are not beyond the realm of possibility!)...

Okay, you know what I realized today? My sandals need some work...Apparently I kick up a fair amount of dirt (that accumulates on the inside of my HOT sandals -EW!) Soap, water, toothbrush and a lot of elbow grease will hopefully do the trick to rectify the sandal scandal! AND, I am debating the "in season" versus "off season" premiers...What do you think? Your thoughts on this topic are appreciated...it will affect whether I pull out the Fall features OR I just keep the Spring/Summer shoes in the forefront...It's been so hot lately BUT today was so cool...I am leaning toward in-season features...Again, talk amongst yourselves and report back to me! This will require some activity...Fall shoes are under our (stilhetto lifted) bed...had to do that to accomodate my collection of feet apparel.

Okay, xylophone injuries...Apparently one of the instructors assisting with the Nation Ford High School Marching Band sustained a xylophone (YES - a xylophone) injury recently. And, while showing the students the injury, developed an infection from showing it....EW!!!! He's back to work this week much to Casey's chagrin...Am I the only one who is experiencing BELLY LAUGHS at this one...? I get amused at the slightest thing and this one takes the cake... I feel so bad for being so giddy with laughter at this one!...I have that same experience when other people fall...I am warped, I know it....I would expect the same reaction if I fell or again, hmmmmm, maybe sustained oh, maybe a XYLOPHONE INJURY! Okay, I think I sustained a Zither injury in my youth...do you remember the Zither...you could develop some wicked "rug burn" type injuries on your pick fingers/hand, admit it....

Can't wait for the Shoe of the Week!

WAY TO GO ST. THOMAS AQUINAS GIRLS' SCHOOL KNITTING TEAM - AND SOCKS!

A big shout out goes out to the St. Thomas Aquinas Middle School Girls' Knitting Team who showed up to play the Tennessee Volunteers in place of the mightly Bulldawgs this Saturday night...They did great! Apparently, the entire Bulldawg team was on vacation...Uh, what? While ALL of our receivers, offensive and defensive lines were filing their nails and getting facials, the Vols showed up, kicked our butts and took names... To add insult to injury, Larry Munson was not calling the game either...EGADS! Way to go girls! Are there any scholarships that are in jeopardy as a result of the playing? (or lack thereof)...I was taking away scholarships left and right on Saturday afternoon -- Being fiscally responsible is a great thing, ya know? Well, unlike the Shamecocks, at least our players show up to class...it would really help if they showed up to the game as well!

On a positive note, we had a great time at a Tennessee/Georgia party (on neutral ground)....Our TN buds were so classy at not rubbing it in...okay, I am not sure I could show so much restraint although I think I could (but hey, we didn't win so who knows? Perhaps I would be the epitome of class too...talk amongst yourselves on this one - could I do it?)...Nolan reminded me that I was not yelling (or cursing) as much as I usually do during a game (lovely he has that impression of me)...okay, I had to show Southern/SEC manners, right? I think Cynthia and Hack (they bleed orange) were told the same thing by their boys as well (no curse bombs were flying - who knew that could happen)...Hostess Kelly remained neutral -- although, I did get the sympathetic glance on more than one occasion...

SIDE NOTE: Cynthia and I BOTH brought a cake to the party...basically the same cake too (unbeknownst to us) -- with the Georgia and Tennessee logos! I guess that's what you do at a "Cake Party" (okay - it was really more of a "KEG" party)....in Mimi's words...Cake and Keg are interchangable in Mimi's vocabulary...amongst other words...

Okay on a positive note...I DID learn how to play Cornhole...while Cynthia and I were cheering one another on (and high fiving each other too) we were informed we were actually playing against one another...WHAT? ....hmmmm....the high fiving stopped and we promptly got our game face on...And, MY virtuous husband (remember golf?) tried to cheat Kelly and I out of a point during a game - AFTER I figured out the scoring system...you have GOT to watch the quiet ones...they are not to be trusted...Who knows how many points that he credited to his team versus mine before I "got it?!" He could have thrown me a bone (a Dawg bone) because my Dawgs were getting beat....BUT NO! He had to win...the score was announced by him after every toss...He's an engineer but sometimes the math thing (ahem) doesn't come so easy...points are added at a whim...I still love Cornhole...Note to self: Play on Mark's team, especially when others are imbibing...I will always win!

Okay, I did get in the bounce house too...broke my elbow in 8th grade in one of those but decided to face my fear and bounce with a bunch of boys! Okay, long story short, I squealed like a girl (okay, I am one) but even their 50-70 pound bodies were a formidable force against my unmentionable girth! They were catapulting me to the ceiling...I went down to the mat a couple of times (peeled my face off of the heavy-duty plastic) but my feable heart couldn't take it....I have been experiencing latent elbow pain every since...who knows how much therapy the boys will need seeing my stomach meeting my chin ...not pretty at all...

Did I tell you Cynthia wore the sweetest shoes? Awesome animal print flats with a quilted patent leather toe...To die for...again, in an amazing show of class, I was given permission by her to purchase the same pair (if I can find them!) $22 bucks at Target...okay, don't rush the stores...let me get mine first please!

Okay, you are dying to hear about socks, right? This is the email I sent to my friends late last week:

"For those of you in the FMES carpool line today, yes Nolan was wearing two different socks. Yes, I realize it and am mortified. Yes, I need to go to the laundromat to clean his socks since our washing machine is kaput (although he has clean, matching ones up in his sock drawer that is labeled “Socks and Boxers” – duh!) and Yes, he doesn’t care…one sock has an emblem on it, the other doesn’t so you can’t miss it and he’s wearing a plaid shirt that is clashing with everything…I think I am getting hives."

Should I be happy the kid doesn't care or should I be VERY afraid that he is clueless on the fashion front?....Discuss amongst yourselves...

Will the Dawgs crumble as a result of the loss?...I just want to beat the Gators...that's it! GO DAWGS!

THE DAWGS WILL RISE AGAIN...and I am getting those sassy flats if it kills me!